Let’s face it, we live in a society that runs on stress. Most of our schedules are so packed that we are constantly running from one activity to another, often with little rest in between. From work, to church, to school, to kids activities and sports and every celebration in between, downtime is not often something many of us experience a lot of anymore.
So many of us get to a point with the stresses of life that we have enough! We get overwhelmed and physically need a break to reduce the overwhelm just to continue to function normally. Usually, that looks like a vacation or a minor break in the normal routine and then we’re right back to it. And I don’t know about you, but I have been on plenty of vacations, especially with small children, that while still very fun, often left me feeling more drained than before I went. Does the phrase, “I need a vacation from my vacation!” ring any bells?
There’s Really No Escaping It…
No matter how much we may try, there’s really no escaping it. Life is full of stress. Part of that was by design. Stress can be a good thing. God created us with a “fight or flight response,” that when used as it was intended, can help us handle stress in a productive way and keep us safe in dangerous situations. But this response was designed to only be used in the short-term.
The problem that arises for most of us is that our lives are so busy and we’re handling so much at once that our fight or flight responses are being taxed constantly. Just think of how many fires a day you end up putting out, whether it’s at work or breaking up fights between your kids, or solving problems for your spouse.
When that response is taxed so constantly, we find ourselves in a state of chronic stress that leaves us feeling overwhelmed and literally “stressed out,” or unable to handle any additional stress. With our threshold already so high, when true stress that should trigger our fight or flight response comes along, it often pushes us over the edge and ends in outbursts of anger, bouts of depression, or worse.
So How Do We Handle It?
As Christians, how should we handle stress appropriately? Let’s first look at what Scripture says and two of the things that typically cause us stress in the first place.
Fear
This is a big one and something that affects all of us at one point or another. Especially as mothers, we fear or worry over just about everything when it comes to our kids. Whether they’re doing enough healthy things to stay healthy, whether we’re doing enough for them to mold them into decent humans, whether we’re providing enough, whether we’re spending enough time with them, the list goes on and on.
Fear is the main factor that usually triggers our fight or flight response. It’s the fear of the dark or an unexpected noise that kicks in your body’s response and makes you feel like you will have to defend yourself against something unknown, by either fighting it or running away from it.
But the Bible is very specific in what it says about fear, and surprisingly, most of these scriptures are much more about who God is and less about us.
“Do not fear, for I am with you. Do not be afraid, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, I will also help you, I will also uphold you with My righteous right hand.’
Isaiah 41:10, NASB2020
I love how simple and direct the first part of this verse is. “Do not fear, for I am with you. Do not be afraid, for I am your God.” There are a few different things that I think we need to reflect on when we read this passage. The first is that God’s directive here is not a suggestion, but a command. The layout of this passage also suggests that the end of each sentence is an explanation of the first. So, if we consider these verses to mean “Do not fear, because I am with you. Do not be afraid, because I am your God” (emphasis added) it puts a little bit of a different perspective on the whole passage.
Another way to look at this passage is to read it with the emphasis on the word “I.” “Do not fear, for I am with you. Do not be afraid for I am your God.” (emphasis added). When you picture this passage emphasizing the I, as if God is saying do not be afraid because I (the One who is greater than anything you may face) am with you, it again shifts the passage to be much more about who God is and not about us.
There are two important things that fear does that I think make it a weapon that the devil likes to use often. It makes us vulnerable and it makes us focus on ourselves. Fear is linked most naturally to self-preservation, whether that comes in the form of self-defense against a bear attack or self-defense from the ridicule or opinions of others.
When we put the focus of this verse back on God and understand it to mean that we don’t have to fear because God, the all-knowing, all-powerful, loving God we serve is in control and no matter what we face, He is greater, then I think we come to understand more of how it was originally intended.
This is a lesson that I have had to learn over and over…
If you’ve read any part of my testimony, you may know that I have struggled with fear and anxiety my entire life. From what I remember, it was really bad as a kid and then really took an extreme turn postpartum after having my second child. My husband was working out of town off and on at the time and when I realized that if anything were to happen to us, I was the only line of defense between whatever it was and my babies, the anxiety became crippling.
I quickly determined that I couldn’t continue to live like this and thankfully at the time, I had heard a speaker talk about having similar issues. I can’t remember who it was now, but she said when you experience fear, you should ask yourself “what if?” and then picture the absolute worst case scenario. Ask yourself what you would do in that situation and make a plan for how you would handle it. It may sound a little backwards, but it really did help diffuse how “big and scary” that scenario was in my mind. It’s based on the idea that the scariest part of fear is the unknown. So, once you’ve “known” it or imagined that worst case scenario and feel prepared for it, it doesn’t seem so scary.
And honestly, it worked! At least it did at first. It allowed me to take back some of that control that I felt like I was losing when I was afraid of something. And I used that trick for a while, until one day when the Holy Spirit showed me something new. I was home with the kids one night when my husband was out of town for work and I was having another one of those bad nights. The ones where you can’t really explain why, but something just feels off and it makes you feel very on edge, like something bad is about to happen.
So, I ran through my routine, asking myself what I was afraid of, trying to play out all of the “what if” scenarios that might be causing all of my anxiety and then I heard the Holy Spirit say, “You either believe Me, or you don’t.” And the passage from Isaiah 41:10 came to mind.
If we TRULY believe that God is who He says He is, and He is the all-powerful Creator of the universe that is control of everything, then truthfully, we have nothing to fear. Fear shouldn’t even be a part of our vocabulary or our mentality. And if we’re honest, fear really comes from doubt.
Think about it! If we have fear, as human as it may be, we are really doubting that God’s got it, whatever that situation may be. We are either doubting that He’s in control or that He’s working all things for our good. So, we have to ask ourselves, whether we either believe Him, or we don’t.
And trust me, that one hit HARD! It was like everything I had ever been afraid of or every memory I had of being scared flashed before me. Each one a reminder, now, of my moments of doubt. How humbling…
Now, I’m not saying that I no longer experience fear after that moment, because as I’ve said, it is a part of being human. But now, when I experience fear, I try to remember that phrase, “You either believe Me, or you don’t” and instead of trying to take back the control myself, I give it to God. I turn to Him in my vulnerability and trust Him to have that control and now, THAT is what diffuses my fear completely.
And for me, this works in any situation that causes fear, anxiety or stress. If God gives you things in your life, He either knows you can handle it, or He wants to bring you through it to teach you something. Either one requires trust that He is in control.
Overwhelm
Overwhelm is another major thing that causes stress for many people. It results from trying to do too many things, usually at the same time. I honestly think that overwhelm became such a part of our society today because efficiency and multi-tasking became so important to us as a progressive population.
With every new invention or new technology came a faster, more efficient way of solving a problem and while it all seemed great on the front end, at the backend, it left in its wake an exhausted, over-stressed population, not able to keep up with the demand.
So many of us live with that mentality now that if you can do 50 things at once, your life will be better. The more accomplished you are, the more fulfilled your life will be. But scripture has very different views on this one.
“Unless the Lord builds the house, the builders labor in vain. Unless the Lord watches over the city, the guards stand watch in vain. In vain you rise early and stay up late, toiling for food to eat-for he grants sleep to those he loves.”
Psalms 127:1-2 NIv
The NASB2020 version reads, “It is futile for you to rise up early, to stay up late, to eat the bread of painful labor; This is how He gives to His beloved sleep.” It is pointless for us to burn both ends of the candle unless we’re pursuing something God has given us. Even still, God calls us to rest. He knows we need it. That’s what the Sabbath day was for in the first place.
Working hard is a good quality to have and scripture supports it (Colossians 3:23), but God also calls us to rest and more importantly rest on Him (Psalms 46:10). When we fail to rest in Him and try to do everything all at once in our own strength, that’s when stress and overwhelm take over.
What If I Just Get Through This Season, Then My Stress Will Go Away…
This is one of my favorite things I used to tell myself when life got hard. Just get through this season of college and once I graduate, everything will be easier. Once I get married, I’ll have someone else to rely on and everything will get easier. Once my babies are a little older and more independent, everything will be easier. Once…do you see where I’m going with this?
Every season of life looks easier until you’re in it. So many of us wish our lives to the next season, only to miss the last one once it has passed. What a sad existence to live your entire life focused on what’s next until you die.
I’ve been through enough of these seasons to realize that I don’t think life ever really gets easier. With every new season comes a new set of challenges that you’re given to help you grow; new lessons that mold and shape you as a person, and if you’re a believer, should make you look more like Jesus with each passing year.
So if we live life with the mentality that we’re just waiting for the next season that will somehow be easier, we’re never going to get there and we will have wasted our lives longing for something that doesn’t exist.
So How Do We Move Forward?
As Christians, we have to get to a place where we put our focus on the One who is in control, instead of the situations that feel like they’re controlling us. As we’ve discussed, these situations may change, but the stress and the amount of things we have to do never seems to decrease, it only changes with the circumstances we find ourselves in. If we can cling to God and His promises and His truth regardless of the situations we face, and lean on Him for our strength and endurance, only then can we truly figure out how to thrive through this stressful life.
